As soon as you become a mom, you quickly learn that what was once super easy choices are now toss-ups between super important things. Eat or take a shower, take a shower or clean the house. Take a nap or clean. Go to the park since you know your kids REALLY need to get out or stay in one more day because you still don’t feel well?

It seems I’m always left with choices that no matter what something suffers. If we get out for most the day throughout the week it tends to pile that laundry and housework up pretty quickly.

Today, I woke up feeling about 95% better but still kind of weak and tired (probably from staying up a little too late watching TLC shows last night). The kids are just now getting to the point of allowing me to do things like shower or bathe and not kill themselves or each other (Hallelujah!) So as I stood in the shower this morning with the scalding hot water dripping down my back with a cute little button face Evelyn (17 mos) looking up at me I was debating whether we would join in with our friends at the neighborhood park today. I decided to leave it up to the universe as usual and see how things pan out with our morning. I figured it would be good to go and get them out of the house and the kids would have a chance to see their friends since I had received a text from my moms group about going. So I told Daniel (my 4-year old) to get dressed, dressed myself, and Ev and we went downstairs to start the day.

As I’m making breakfast, Daniel is testing me and upsetting me with his behavior and at one point I just decided, “forget it, no park today!” Ev was already getting tired since we started our day a little later than usual and Daniel’s behavior had made me so upset that I used no park as a punishment (which also ended up being punishment for me- as they usually are). It came down to the fact that I still was not feeling 100 percent, and the way things ended up going made me just decide to stay in today and find other outdoor activities to do once Evelyn went down for her nap.

This decision wasn’t an easy one as I know now that the park sometimes is why their behavior is out of control – They need to go burn some energy off. The park most likely would have helped. BUT, it really just came down to me just being over it and needing a break and not really feeling up to going once I had said NO to the same things a million times that morning and since he wasn’t getting it I wasn’t going to go reward him with fun at the park.

I remember when I first had Daniel and as a newborn they need you every moment- it is extremely difficult to get a shower in and your tough decisions are: to cook, clean, sleep, or shower. Then, with Evelyn it got even trickier having a 3-year old (at the time) who was testing me every chance he got, and getting into everything while trying to sneak in a shower, sleep, cook, or clean with a newborn as well. The stakes got higher.

I’ve noticed lately though that it is starting to get easier. It helps that Ev is pretty independent at her young little age she finds things to keep herself busy and for the most part stays out of trouble. It gets tricky at times with her climbing things and trying to eat things she shouldn’t but I can tell it is getting better.

I’m looking forward to next week. Hopefully I’ll be feeling my normal healthy self and the park will probably be the first thing we get to next week. Park, library, racetrack and whatever else seems like a good idea that day.