It came out of nowhere.  I was fine on Monday, and then Tuesday morning my throat hurt, and I was sneezy and sniffly.  I felt crappy but as the day went on, it only got worse.  The next morning, I woke and still wasn’t feeling well but no sick days for moms. 

I have no other choice, then to push through and take care of the two tiny humans who rely on me to meet all their million needs throughout the day.  There’s no relaxing, resting, or even drinking enough fluids because even though my intentions are well-meaning when I pour myself a glass of water, I rarely ever get around to drinking it, or much of it anyway.

It’s hard being out here without family and close friends. I could ask my friends or family who live here but I guess I don’t really know anyone who can help.  They’re either working or have their own kids to tend to.  I’ve been thinking lately that maybe I should finally hire a babysitter.  If I had someone who I could call on at random times to just give me a couple hours so that I can sleep off a sickness, or a get a moment of peace to myself, it would be so nice.  Part of me is still a little apprehensive though because Evelyn is currently into EVERYTHING.  You turn your head for one second and she’s eating something or climbing on something she shouldn’t be. Maybe in a few more months or year even things will get easier.  For now, I’m just living in the struggle, and it is REAL.  I love that I can be home with my kids, but it would be nice to have just a little more time for myself or even just time to get better when I’m feeling sick.  I think one of the worst things about it is that my kids are stuck inside bored for the duration of my sickness.  I don’t want to go out feeling this way, or spread my sickness to others, and I just don’t have the energy to get them ready and lug them in and out of the car multiple times just to go to the store or wherever.  Plus, I keep sneezing and coughing and I feel and look like garbage so going out isn’t really an option right now.

So, I’ll sit here and sulk in my mom-guilt and pity party of sickness, longing for those days I used to call “sick days” where I could just relax, and someone could take the kids for a day and maybe even take them somewhere cool and fun so they come back chill and content.   

Thank god for Dr. Teals Eucalyptus Bubble Bath and Nyquil/Dayquil!

Update: I had a cold/virus that turned into bronchitis. I just finished my Z-pack (antibiotic) and I’m finally starting to feel better after two weeks of trying to get creative and find things the kids and I could do while feeling like shit lol. We survived! (barely, but we made it!)