First of all, I want to start by saying that I am using this online platform as my “diary”. I remember the days of my youth when I had a lock with a key for my precious thoughts. Nowadays, we plaster our innermost thoughts all over the net for the world (or at least our world) to see.
Isn’t it ironic don’t ya think? (You’re welcome for having Alanis Morrisette stuck in your head for the rest of the day, now)
Especially that I am about to bitch (ahem) err… I mean vent about privacy and the lack thereof in today’s world.
That’s human nature for ya. We like to pick and choose our own personal frustrations, while others comparable or similar are perfectly fine. We’re all a bit hypocritical in our own ways when you think about it.
Not to pick on anyone but recently someone I know was mentioning how bad caffeine is while enjoying an alcoholic beverage. I myself remember a time when I smoked cigarettes but wouldn’t drink from an old water bottle in my car (because it might cause cancer). Yes, really. The fact is that even if you are the most health conscious or Eco-friendly person, chances are there is something you do/buy that isn’t. Do you drive a car? Yes? Do you drink out of and dispose of water bottles? Do you purchase some products that aren’t biodegradable? Probably.
While it is great to try and minimize our carbon footprints and it is wonderful to eat healthy and practice healthy habits, it does not make you better than anyone else and it absolutely does not give you the right to look down on others who do things differently.
It really comes down to the fact that we should all just enjoy our lives and do what makes YOU happy. If you like to be private, be private. If you like to share certain aspects of your life with others, do it. That is your business.
There are so many people these days who think that because we live in a time where everyone posts everything and shares everything that we need to just butt our business in other people’s lives and how they do things.
Granted some leave the door wide open to do so – nothing makes us better than anyone else. “To each his own”. “Different strokes for different folks”. These are all why we should try to be more understanding in that people are much more complex then one or two choices they make. They may do a million things right but as humans we are so quick to point out that one fault, that one bad day, that one bad habit they do.
My initial topic for this post was privacy and I was going to talk about privacy while having kids because let’s face it- I don’t remember the last time I went to the bathroom with the door shut and uninterrupted. I digress, the topic led me down a whole other discussion that I feel is important now more than ever.
We all have our own personal journeys and just because we found something that works for us, doesn’t mean it works for everyone. Everyone needs to find their own way. It’s one thing to say what works for you, and it’s another to act like your way is the only/better way. As my stepfather always says, “there are many right ways”.
Maybe that person you’re judging so hard, tried your way, and it didn’t work for them. Who cares? Why does it even matter? Do your thing, be helpful if you can, and move on.
One trip to Target that I will never forget is one when my son was probably 6 months old or younger. It was my only chance to get there that week and I was at the end of my shop (which is always rushed because he is like a ticking time bomb in a store – I only have so much time before he loses it). I was looking for a card (one of the main reasons I was there) and he started crying. I was trying to hurry and grab a card real quick and we were out of there but these two older women glared at me as if I was abusing my child. Newsflash ladies: BABIES CRY. He was perfectly fine, he just was ready to go and we were on our way out. It was none of their business but they felt the need to give me dirty looks so I said to my infant son (at the time) “come on buddy, let’s go these ladies are giving us dirty looks”. Part of me wonders why I even cared or that I obviously still do to bring it up in this blog but the fact is that I was so taken back and this was the first of many judgy looks you get when you have small children.
If a child is being obviously abused or neglected, I can understand looks or speaking up but when a mother is just trying to get a card and this is her only outing all week and her baby cries maybe try being a little understanding and helpful. My favorite people are the ones in the checkout (when my son was having a tantrum) who helped distract him by smiling or waving. The ones who ask to take my cart after I’ve packed the kids and groceries in the car. The ones who realize that it takes a village and parents need more support these days, not less.
We all need to mind our business unless we are actually genuinely trying to help. No one needs your judgments, opinions, or dirty looks. What people need these days is smiles, support for one another, and much more understanding.